My Top 10 Snarl List

These 10 include people, behaviors, and music that are most likely to elicit a snarl or two from me. I’m sure you have a Top 10. I would love to read yours.

1. Simultaneous, impatient demand for my undivided attention. I say, take a number and wait. Your request for attention will be considered in the order it was received. Now, suck it up and get in line.

2.When my children or husband ignore, forget, debate or protest valid, simple, reasonable instructions. I am all for questioning authority as long as it is not mine.

3. Rude, oblivious, distracted people. They are on our roads and all public places. There are so many. Why?

4. Zhu Zhu Pet hamster speak. Why did Santa Claus bring our family six of these; and then tell our neighbors another two of three would be just swell? Here is my theory. He was baked.

5. Ted Nugent’s Cat Scratch Fever. This song makes me feel like sticking a fork my eyeballs. And, I do not think about harming myself in any way, ever.

6. Consumer and media addiction to the stupid and irrelevant. Machetes, tiger blood, and crack do not make a sick man funny.

7. When I extend an invitation and do not ever receive a response. Since, I have violated this one and do not have an excuse except severe neglect of etiquette, I try to cut slack. But, multiple time offenders are off my A-list.

8. American Chopper: Senior vs Junior. My husband and I were avid fans of the original series because it told a good story about how hard work, creativity, and savvy marketing could grow a small business to tremendous success. But, then… all the constant infighting became old and nerve-racking.

9. Ask for my opinion, and then completely ignore — don’t even listen to or consider — what I have to say. If you’re not really interested in my opinion, don’t ask! Don’t pretend you care about what I think?

10. Overly competitive people. Healthy competition at work, school and play is okay. However, it bothers me when people make it their life-mission to out-do or even keep pace with having the same material possessions, luxuries, vacations, cars, chaotic after-school schedules, etc. as their neighbors, family and friends.

The Original Saturday Real-Life Escape

It began Saturday morning. I started the engine, set my music to the Black-Eyed Peas, and sped out of the driveway. Squealing my tires, I left my husband, children and dog for my sister and Hob Nob Pinot Noir. I escaped to the land of The Original Cottage Inn, Stucchi’s, the University of Michigan and flirty boutiques.

At The Original, my sister and I savored a child-free meal and traded strategies on how to avert meltdowns. Somehow food and drink tastes so much better without food strikes, projectile air launches, or requests for drink refills. Plus, nothing beats The Original. Just think about it. Does Ataris’ cover of Don Henley’s Boys of Summer measure up? Say what you want. It just doesn’t do it for me. The same goes for food. Mastery of artful, tasteful duplication is tough and not without peril.

Our escape route also included a trek through the campus at U-M, hunting for stylish spring accessories, and indulging at Stucchi’s. That scoop of cinnamon crumb cake was absolutely delicious; and worth every calorie and fat gram.

The original Saturday real-life escape was extra special with a visit to my sister’s home. There, I cuddled my nephew who is a bundle of six-month cuteness and discussed how challenging it was to catch leprechauns with my niece, Annalise. She even showed me the box she made for trapping them. Life is beautiful.